BoshinWHAT?!

So I'm in my 5pm class today, and we somehow get on the topic of dogs. The kids want to know what my puppy's name is, how big he is, yada yada yada.

Suddenly out of nowhere this kid Brad pipes up, "Ah yes teacher, boshintang... VERY DELICIOUS." We had been talking about food earlier, so I thought he was just slow. Then Kirk chimes in next to him "oh yea, delicious"

They were actually talking about food, boshintang happens to BE dog.... and according to my two 11 year old students, is VERY delicious...

Boshimakemevomit

Roots

For those of you that know me, this will come as a HUGE shock.... I haven't dyed my hair in 4 months. I know, as someone who was nicknamed Crayola at her old job, not touching my hair in this long should merit a medal.

I've dyed my hair since I was in high school, around 11th grade. I'm not really sure anymore WHAT my natural haircolor is, I'd guess somewhere around dishwater blonde.

Imagine my surprise when I recently started to notice my roots coming in. I haven't seen them in a long time because I dye my hair so much. My roots, to everyone at works' surprise, are blond. Not only are they blonde, they're some sort of PLATINUM blonde. Like a really really light white blonde coming in. Sort of makes me look weird, with brown hair and these light light roots. I'm contemplating growing them out to see what I look like as a complete blonde...

Makes all the fake blondes want to cry doesn't it?

Bleh

This blogger has been feeling a bit under the weather lately. I'm not lacking funny stories, or random observations, I'm simply not motivated to do much of anything. I don't want to get out of bed in the morning because well, my bed is quite warm. The change in temperature has gotten a lot of us teachers under the weather, myself included. I went from baking in humidity every hour to freezing my ass off walking home from school. Walks home now consists of bundling up in a jacket, a scarf, perhaps some gloves, and for some a hat. We chatter the whole way home, and as soon as I get home I warm up some soup.

Needless, my head is stuffy, my throat is sore, and I have no real motivation to move off the bed. And for those of you that know me, and know that when I get sick I like to be taken care of, the lack of anyone here to take care of me is pretty depressing too, lol. Yea, I'm a wuss, I'll admit it.

And the stories continue...

Kimchi Festival

My everpresent sidekick Liz has flown back home to Canadia, and I am now a lone wolf in the merciless wilds of Korea. Ok, not really THAT pathetic, but she's gone, so mostly I just walk alone now...

We had the annual Kimchi Festival here in town this weekend, it's supposed to be a pretty big thing, so this morning Asher and I set out to walk around and check it out.

It was pretty neat. Lots of booths set up, tons of food, raw meat spoiling in the sun, dead fish floating in tanks, and of course, kimchi. The food actually smelled AMAZING, but I didn't feel like eating alone, so I got some sweets and kept walking. Asher absolutely loved it, the vendors kept giving him meat off the grill, water, and every few feet I was stopped so that kids could pet him. He rolled around in the grass and passed out on the floor as soon as we got home.

I've added some pictures of the festival and some shots of the cooking... Enjoy!

Before and After

I've been here since June 23rd. In that time I've stopped eating fast food and started walking like 8 miles a day. Why?Well, cause for one, there's nothing much to do here besides drink or walk, so since I don't really drink, I walk. Second, Korean food doesn't like me, and there's really no fast food, so my diet now consists of tuna, eggs, ham, and the weird rice cracker thingies.

I didn't really notice the BIG picture until I saw this picture of me before I came here.... If you look closely, you can actually see my chin!

Bidet

So I've mentioned the bidets here. Some toilets here in Korea have about 10 buttons on them, and sometimes when I'm feeling random, yea, I like to hit the buttons and have a blast of ice cold water shoot my bum. It's quite nice, I'm not going to lie. The events that are described below however, I did not bargain for.

It was just a regular dinner, and I decided to go to the bathroom. Becky and Freya came with me. I went in first, and you know, did my thing. Then I decided it would be fun to hit the bidet button. So I did. Everything was fine and dandy for a minute, when I realized the water had been on quite a long time and had not turned off. So I hit the off button. Nothing happened. I hit it again, and the steady stream of water did not stop. At this point the girls are yelling at me because they have to pee, and my reply is "Seriously guys, I can't turn off the water!!!" I then unplugged the entire toilet, and the water KEPT ON COMING. I now realized that I was going to have to someone get my ass off the toilet, pull up my panties and my jeans and somehow slam the toilet cover down on this jetstream of water. Now imagine the following scene: I wiggle to the side, grab panties and jeans and in one swift movement stand up, pull them up, and yank down the toilet seat. The entire time the girls are still yelling "It's not funny Jasmin just turn it off!!" and I'm roaring back "I can't, seriously!" It was kind of funny.

So there we are, the three of us, staring at the closed toilet with water spraying out of it.

Stupid Korean Bidet

Octopus

Yesterday I was the butt of the joke. That's fine with me. Here's what happened:

I was walking with Liz downtown. On the way we stopped at the grocery for water, only I waited outside. I was standing next to the fishtanks, and one of the guys was putting the octopus from the tank into a bowl. All of a sudden he dropped it, and I made a little squeak. I made a squeak because those things freak me out. They're really small ones, the body is about 3 inches long and the tentacles maybe a foot.

Anywho, the guy picks up Mr. Octopus, and then turns to me. "Do you like octopus?" he asks me. I reply that no, I don't in fact like octopus, but that just means more for him. He laughs at this. The whole time he's talking to me, I notice that he's winding the tentacles around the little guy, so that maybe he can throw him back into the tank. Man, was I so wrong. He continues talking, and then slowly (so that I can HEAR the noise of the slurp) puts this LIVE octopus in his mouth, and swallows it.

I'm seriously not kidding when I let out a gasp and my entire body shuddered. I can't believe he ate that thing RAW and ALIVE. To each his own though.....

Wire Hangers

For those of you that know me, you know I'm completely anal about organizing my closet. Coats on one side, followed by sweaters, long sleeved shirts, and then collared shirts. All organized by sleeve length and color. It's a work of art really...

Taking a look at my closet this morning, I realize that I have been quite slacking in the closet department since coming to Korea. I've got shit hanging randomly everywhere, and half the stuff is turned inside out from the laundry. I have no iron here, so I haven't ironed anything since... June 23rd, lol. Nothing makes no sense and you know what? I. Dont. Care. I supposed I could go in there and make it pretty and anal, but I don't really feel like it. It's a little bit liberating.

The one thing that does crack me up every time I look in my closet are my hangers. At home I have color coordinated plastic and wooden hangers so everything hangs nice. The hangers here? Well, they were here when I moved in. They're bent wire hangers.

So basically, every time I look into my closet, I have a shot of Faye Dunaway in "Mommy Dearest" screaming "NO WIRE HANGERS!!!" at her daughter running through my mind. Maybe it's repressed guilt, and I feel like she's yelling at me instead.

Damn wire hangers.

Butcher shop

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about some pig heads I'd seen outside of a butcher shop. There were a bunch of pig heads lined up outside, just sitting there. I had wanted to take a picture, but by the time I got back that night they were all gone.

I've been by every day since when I walk Asher, and always keep my eyes peeled, but no pig heads.

Yesterday I hit jackpot, they were all lined up again outside. I quickly took Asher home, grabbed my camera, and took this picture. The fact that I'm now used to seeing things like this makes me think I should probably come home soon before I revert into a full Korean and start screeching "Hiiiiiiiiii" at foreigners. ;)

Fall Fashion

I know I had some problems with the summer clothing here in Korea. Ok fine, I thought they were F*ing hideous. Shopping was NOT fun for me until a few weeks ago. Everything in the summer was neon, tight, and briiiiight. Until now...

The fall fashions have come out in force, and honestly, I've never seen girls wear such CUTE clothes. It's mostly all about skirts and shorts with leggings and tights here. The girls wear these tiny little skirts, and dark tights with sky high little boots. I can't explain it really, but it looks very cute, and I'm all about it. The skirts are always a size too small, and to buy shoes here is hopeless. The tights here are like pantyhose, but with the heels and toes cut out, so they look like the little tights from the 80's, but much cuter. They wear them with heels, so you can see a little bit of the foot peeking out.

My goal downtown on Saturday is to take pictures of some of these, and post them. Stay tuned!

Comment

So I randomly get the following comment on a blog I made today. When I blog about my life here in Korea, I try to find humor in daily life. I try to find the simple differences and share them with those back home that aren't here. I do not hate Korea, Koreans, or really anything this country, it's simply different. I had posted a blog about shopping awhile back. The whole point of the blog was that Koreans dress completely different than I, who look like the Gap just threw up on me. I couldn't find anything because one, I'm 5'10, wear a size 9 shoe, and am TALL.

This following was the comment left by some person:

Your post makes me ashamed to be American. You're so frickin' condescending! Now wonder educated Koreans hate Americans. First off, you are fat, not just by asian standards but by world standards. 30% of Americans are obsese and you are one of them, thats why you couldn't find anything to buy, because Korea doesn't have stores like Target where pants have draw-strings. Second of all, you are racist against Korean women. You look at all of them as prostitutes, refuse to learn the culture, refuse to learn reading Korean (which takes about 4 hours) and generally walk around like a superior American with your stupid dog. In fact, when I was in Korea (lived there for six months) I felt ashamed about how entitled American women act in front of Korean women, that I refused to even associate with them. Yes, Korean has a lot of different customs, and they are not the most tact people on earth, but they are innocent compared to gluttonous, useless Americans who come over and teach them English and walk around judging them. With all your free time I suggest you do several things:1) go out around the country and to Seoul and learn about the history of the country. It's pretty interesting2) join a group or college where you can start to learn Korean through a language exchange partner, esp. a GUY. Tell your husband to f- off if he has a problem with it. I'm sure he's not making any money thats why he shipped your ass over there.3) stop being such an ignorant bitch and open your mind to different cultures and the way they do things4) stop thinking your shit doesn't stink because you are are white. 5) remember that Americans our age have negative savings, are up to our ass in debt, have a bullshit economy which is crashing and Asia is going to be richer than us, so in a few years time you will be begging for their money. So, unless you plan to live in hickville Ohio forever maybe it would serve your interests to learn their culture, language and learn how to use chopchicks and not look like an ass. Thanks.

I'm not really quite sure WHAT to make of this comment exactly. I read the whole thing with my mouth hanging open, and the first thing that came to mind was "When in the flying fuck did a size 10 become obese?"

I'm not going to defend a damn thing that this person wrote. I have no idea who wrote it, why, and who shit in his eggs this morning. I am however, really excited, that someone who has no clue who I am, and knows nothing about my life, took everything I wrote completely out of context, and then called my dog stupid.

And the whole time I'm reading this I'm thinking it sounds completely LIKE the quintessential asshole Americans that come over here. But what do I know, I'm from Germany...

Asher the Sissy

It occured to me today that Korea is perhaps not the best enviornment to raise a dog in. Aside from the fact that they eat dogs (yea, seriously, NOT a joke) the whole stigma I see when I'm out and about with the little guy is that at any minute he's going to break out of his leash, run towards small children, and devour them.

Asher is now 5 months old. He's still a bit small, but he's a spunky little guy who has a lot of energy. He gets about 3 walks a day, around an hour each. He's got a play area in the apartment, toys, food, and he's healthy, happy, and spoiled. He's been socialized with people, and does great with them. I found the only patch of grass in this city, and he rocks out on it every day with his squeaky ball.

The only thing I wish I could do is to socialize him with other animals. The only real dogs I see around here are the ones chained to gas stations. They are big, nasty, and MEAN. I walk Asher by the station once a day and the two dogs go absolutely crazy. I don't blame him for not being excited to meet dogs.

I took him to the vet last week for his shots, and as I walked in, three little dogs came running around the corner. They were all about half the size of my dog, and he immediatley ran between my legs and looking at me like "Mom, they are going to EAT me!" when all they wanted to do was play.

Every time I see a dog walking on the street I try to let Asher sniff and see what's going on, and he's getting a little bit better. But with every step forward you take two steps back...

We were walking tonight, and down the side of the road wanders a cat. Mind you, the car never saw Asher, never changed it's pace, and never even noticed anything. And this dog, he completely freaked out, stopped in his tracks, and would not BUDGE.

Nobody likes a sissy.

Chopsticks

This is my second attempt in 4 months in the use of chopsticks.

Not to mention I was not using them to eat. I was in fact using them to try and pick up my soju cocktail shot.

I failed.

My feet and the Gobi Desert

For those of you that know me, I'm a generally clean person. I'm not really about being dirty and grimy unless I'm camping. Then it's ok. I keep my apartment clean, my dog is clean, and I pride myself on never wearing wrinkled clothes or leaving my apartment looking like a homeless person. I guess you could say I'm a completely anal retentive neat freak. And that is fiiiine with me.

That point being made, I've noticed something about myself since I've arrived in Korea. No matter what I do, or where I go, how many times I shower, scrub, and buff, my feet are always insanely dirty. Every night when I come home from work there's a black film on the bottom of my feet. I have a chalk buffer in my shower, and every night I soak that baby up with soap and scrub my feet until they're raw. I go to bed every night with shiny and soft feet, and come home every night looking like I've been running barefoot through a war zone.

I cannot comprehend this. Is Korea just SO dirty that it just settles all over the place? Even when I wear shoes, the feet are black. I don't get it. It got so bad that even after scrubbing there seemed to be a permanent layer of black on my little tootsies. So I got an even more hardcore scrubber.

Going along the theme of dirt, another aspect of Korea has revealved itself. Every year, around this time, dust is blown down from the Gobi Desert. Apparently the deforestation in China is so bad, that now there's this monstrous desert, and the whopping winds from Russia pick up the dust and sand and dirt and grime, and blow it down our way. The result is this fine orange dust. It settles on EVERYTHING. I woke up Sunday morning to a cloudy sky. Only it wasn't cloud cloudy, it was "I live in a dirty polluted shithole" cloudy. The sky was gray, hazy, and really made me want to use a face mask. And as the day wore on, you could see this dust all over cars and signs and the like. Apparently it gets worse, and when you're walking some days you can just inhale, and then feel little grimy particles of dust and sand in your mouth. I can't wait for THAT.

Dirty feet and now a dusty mouth...

Currency

Since I've been here, I've generally NOT paid attention to the exchange rate. I just figure that 1,000 Won = $1. That works for me. Until today.

I wire money home once a month so that I can pay my bills. All I ever hear on the news is the glorious state of the American economy, and I think "Well, I'm here, so why stress about it?" WRONG AGAIN!

Long story short, the economic plague that is now affecting America has come to Korea. Korea exports something like 75% of goods to America, and now, it's becoming harder for them to do so, therefore, less exports, resulting in the rise of the Korean won. Or something like that. I'm not claiming to know much about any of this, I'm just saying...

ANYWHO, I go to the bank today and wire money home. I wire a total of 1.1 million won home, which is sort of the equivalent of $1,100. In order to do this I change the money from won into dollars, and then wire the full amount home. She gave me my receipt, and this is about exactly when I felt the strong urge to shart my pants... My 1.1 million won translated into $690. Exactly. I'm sure your jaw just dropped, so don't worry, cause that's what my stomach did when she handed me that paper.

The exchange rate is apparently the worst it's been in 60something years, and only expected to get worse. And even though it's technically money I never had, I feel like I lost about $400 in that transaction. A friend of mine wired $8,000 home to Canada last week and only ended up sending $6,000 due to the exchange rate.

All this shit going on over here, and they don't even have Chipotle.

Etiquette Bell

I can't believe I've been here 4 months now and have never mentioned this: the etiquette bell. I'm not sure where in that word there are 2 T's, but who cares.

The bell is in public bathrooms. You hit it when you're "going" and it makes noises. Some of them sound like chirping birds, some play classical music, and some just make toilet flushing sounds. I'm guessing the idea behind this is that if you're ever in a public restroom suffering from explosive diarrhea, (spelling?) that by hitting this bell it will miraculously cover the sound. I think if I were having a contest with my bowels and a chirping bird, my bowels would win.

I do find the flushing toilet sound comes in handy though. Sometimes I get nervous peeing in public bathroom, and the sound of the water makes it easier. Hey, I'm just sayin....

There are also toilets here with seat warming buttons, bidets, and all other kinds of squirty buttons on them. I found this out the hard way once by hitting a button instead of just flushing. Sadly while doing this I was already finished peeing, so when the jet of water hit me, I was standing directly over the toilet looking INTO it..... this is how we learn people!

The Murse

There's a phenomenon in Korea known as the man purse. The men don't even try to hide the fact that they are in fact, carrying a purse. It's not disguised as a messenger bag, or a briefcase. They straight up sling brown leather purses over their shoulders and go about their day.

I noticed it in full force this morning while taking Asher to the vet. There were two men walking in front of me, early twenties, most likely on their way to work. The one guy had on a black vest, which by it's cut made me think it MIGHT have belonged to a woman. Oh well, he made it work. Then there was his murse (man-purse). A brown leather purse, one that I myself might have carried, had it not been so shiny and decorative. Slung over his shoulder in the same way that I was carrying mine.

Part of me thinks that it's silly for men to carry PURSES around. I mean, a purse is for a GIRL right?! Then the other part of my brain kicks in and I think, men have shite to carry around too right? And perhaps in this part of Asia it's completely acceptable for men to carry purses. Maybe I'm just toting around this American notion of manliness, when here in fact, being macho means something completely different. The fact that I haven't seen a single macho Korean man the entire time I've been here means nothing...

Perhaps I could bring the manbag trend to America, starting with my husband :)

Payday

I got paid today!!!

We only get paid once a month here in the ROK, so this is the highlight of my month there.

That's all...